Cleaning out my Closet

I used to get the idea that writing couldnt be so hard. After all, i do it in my mind all the time. But since this blog, suddenly the head that used to be rushing with so many ideas seeking for an outlet has gone silent. The amazing thing about it of course is that the silence comes the moment am ready to start putting something down and then its almost like something speaks to my brain, "Hush! be silent".

Well, am beating it down, whatever that voice is.

Yesterday was a memorable one for me. I cleaned out my closet. Yeah, no big deal i know, if it were just the cleaning of the closet. But it wasnt. I had to do a mental cleaning as well. I let go of old love, I let go of love gone sour, love that never was and now, all am left with is, budding love and love to come.

You'd be amazed at what different people want from their different lives.  At the kick off of my first relationship, I was asked,(by him of course and I can't mention names as i don't think he would want that) "what do u want from this relationship?" I smiled and i said, " I just want to be happy". Skip to several years afterwards, am done with college (for now). If i were to commence a relationship and is asked the same question, what would my answer be? I hadn't given this a serious thought until now.

Without pondering much of course, I know my answer wouldn't have changed. It would have still been the same simple quip, "I just want to be happy". This lack of change in my answer has however caused me to wonder if i have evolved over the years. Have i evolved? Is there something else i would want added to my list of "Wants"? Am yet to answer that.

Back to cleaning out my closet, letting go of old love, love gone sour and budding love didnt make me happy, it didnt make me sad either, still, i cant say i was indifferent. It was just one of those things that had to be done. The moment it was done, there was a moment of melancholy, just a moment, and then there was the reflection, series and series of them. I tactically skipped the sad moments. At the end of it all that is left is a certain calm, like this should have been done ages ago. I however don't begrudge myself the time i spent before i got it done,  as truth be told, I wasnt ready. But having achieved that now, I couldnt have made a better choice.

So brace up all and do some cleaning out because i already have this self satisfied grin that makes me feel like am an expert in airing my closets and trust me, the smile will look good on you too. Just be sure that before you commence on the act, you are good and ready.

So now that everything is all new and shiny and even the cobwebs are almost all gone, let me hope that the coming year brings with it something new.