It wasn't so much the negative response that got Isioma looking wide eyed and mouth shut at Jide.It was the inconceivability of it all. She had never been turned down by a man, never in all her 26 years.Though of course she had never had course to put herself out there
"C'mon Jide, it's just a kiss". "Well, it's a kiss i'm not willing to give" Jide replied. Isioma bit her lip, nodded and quietly got down from his car. Then just before he reversed to drive off, she turned around and waved, still bright eyed.
Oh God! Shoot me now, she thought. This was definitely the embarassment of the century. She had put herself out there for the first time in her life and she had gotten shut down, Shut down by not just anyone but by Jide who claimed to have loved her. It was a rowdy evening and as she made her way to her stop, people looked at her bright face which she was sure was now pink from embarrassment and from trying real hard not to cry.
Jide had been her almost love, but she goofed before he could get her there; 'in love'. There was something between them, undeniably so as all Isioma's friends knew but she kept it temperate, struggled to keep it under control because for some reason she felt she didnt have all of him and for that, it was impossible to give all of her and impossible to explain why a part of her held back to her friends.The most outlandish of them being Nma, who felt she knew it all about love. Nma had gone as far as telling her boyfriend Ndubuisi that Alice was unromantic. It was a bit painful when Ndu as everyone fondly called him referred to her as unromantic at their last hangout. Haaaha! she throated, wherever did you get that? Me? Unromantic? C'mon, ask Nma now i';m the very epitome of blue and in love".She turned to Nma to get her concurrence but from the way she shifted her eyes and sucked on her straw,Isioma knew she had done it again. Rattled on about her to her boy friend.
Nma was one of those friends that couldn't keep their mouth shut about their friends whenever they had a boyfriend. She told it all and one had to remind her not to spill their secret with each boyfriend she took on.Isioma smiled and said, "Well, whatever, love is a farce anyway" and i'm done with it...For now" she added and winked at no one in paricular.
She settled into her bus and thought to herself, she deserved the attitude Jide just gave her. She deserved every bit of it. Once again she had tested a love proclamation to her and it had failed,it was sad, but it was true, So far, love has not endured for her. Why wait? Why bother? And then she thought about the young men whose love she had spurned in the past and re-affirmed again,'Oh!I absolutely deserved that'.And she shrugged it off and paid her fare without a word to the conductor even when he asked her in Yoruba "Elo ni?"for how many? The guy sitting close to the window looked at her and on closer look, he knew she was in no mood to talk, so he said to the conductor, "one, Four Hundred naira change". It would have been difficult to take a bus in Lagos if one did not understand basic Yoruba. The driver counted her change but instead of giving it to the helpful man who had volunterred what the money she paid was for, He streched his hands right across and smiled at Isioma and then gave her her change, making sure his meaty fingers grazed her palm and then he whistled back to the door, shut it and grinned from ear to ear.
The bus ricketed away from the park and she smiled to herself thinking "Promises mean nothing until they are kept". And then she made her own promise to herself and prayed she kept it. She made just one promise to herself but it encompassed a whole lot and she knew right away that if she could keep it, then she would have made the biggest forward step of her life. But then of course, that was only,'if she kept it..."
