Monday 23 April 2012

A new love

Even writing the title of today is a hard one. I had to stare at it for a bit, before i moved on and really, that's what life is all about; a bit of a pause and then you are off, else what you end up doing is killing valuable time.

The year has been lacking in inspiration, but nothing inspires a writer more than a new love. Happiness or worry is bound to well up within you at the thought of someone other than yourself. But eventually, as time passes, you get comfortable, you fall asleep with 'him' in your thoughts and wake up with 'him' in your mind.

Sometimes we worry that an old love maybe the last love so we shut down and just drift through life moping around like there won't ever be a change. An old love, had its problems, when we let a new love in, is with care of the mistakes of the past, with caution and with our eyes open.

What am i raving about? I think i'm on the verge of another big love. Yes. I think i am because with each step i take i worry and worry until i am doing more of worrying than just loving the moment. So i say to my friend; Ada, "what's the worst that can happen?" She said ,"Heartbreak". I think to myself and i say to her, "Well, you know what?" "Heartbreak never killed anyone i know". I'll live, no matter what happens. I mean its not i'm suicidal, so why the heck not.*smiling sheepishly*.

So here i am, luxuriating that i am one of those few people who experience a big  love, twice in one lifetime.

I can confidently say to you, "wait for it". I never did nothing to get another chance, i dont know whether heartbreak lies in store for me, what i do know is that, "it won't kill me" and for the time i have it, i am going to love every moment of it.

So sitting on my boring table, i'm nodding happily to Kelly Clarksons song; "What doesnt kill you makes you stronger".

Its been a cold morning but i hardly feel the cold because of the pleasant warmth within me.