MARRIAGE & ME...

I'm smart. I think so, people have told me so too. I believe them enough to get big headed from the compliments, but i don't. I don't because life has thrown me for a loop too many times just as i was getting comfortable. So i do not get comfortable anymore. I do not sit on my hands and presume that the lulling of the sea means all is well. I stay alert.

Marriage is hard. It's hard work.You think you know you spouse and there's a trigger and this new person emerges and you say to the inner you, "Aha!there! there he is, the you i haven't met". You either cringe or you smirk or you shake it off. Marriage is hard because in addition to everything you intend to achieve and which you have planned out, you have to keep your spouse happy. Anyone who told you that isn't your responsibility lied because if he isn't happy, you most likely won't be. So you work your ass off for his benefit and run two more miles for him too and hope he is easily pleased else you are bummed.When you realise you are bummed is when you see it's not as easy getting out of as relationships, a relationship where there is no legal bind. You walk in and you stroll out if you are done. That's the bummer about marriage, you love him and won't walk out so easily. There are too many things you miss when you guys aren't talking. The banter, the snuggles, the laughs, the gossips, the healthy argument, the love making, the sleep time. You miss all of it and more. And you look at him and sigh and count down to when the ice will be broken and you guys are chummy again.

So what then is love when i won't speak to you even though we live in the same house and share the same bedroom and the same wardrobe and crap in the same toilet bowl. Love is when someone's happiness matters to you as much as your own. It is when we are both unhappy and still not talking, when i won't discuss you with a friend without having that lump in the throat that makes people cry. I am not going to concern myself about the very numerous definitions of love I have seen, this one appeals to me more. If my happiness is not of importance to you, then what are we talking about? So even when your spouse is being a top class jerk and totally getting on your last nerve and acting like your screwed cos' your ass is his now, you chill and you wait it out.

Marriage is hard but it's worth it because i love you even when you are being mule- headed.

IN THIS NEW YEAR...

Compliments of the Season everyone. It's a nice 2015 i think. It's looking up, but that's my own opinion. This year, i have so many things planned. I have so many expectations too and really hope they all pan out. First plan is that i reject anything that has to do with continuous adult education. I have had a divine revelation that it is not for me and it is for this reason that i will deliberately shy away from any program that has 1st and 2nd semester attached to it. 

Then, there is the plan to perfect my driving. I constantly think to myself what would become of me if one day i killed someone while driving...What will become of fragile, gentle, Silky. Hmmm...Thoughts like this have kept me away from the express ways and just within the neighborhood where i can roll my car wheels at my own pace; my snail pace. This ensures that me and everyone who ventures on the road that day is safe, lol.

Then, there is the plan to be more artistic. I met a very talented celebrity palm reader cum art lover towards the end of the year who had beautiful things to say about the markings on my palms. Who knew? The reading left me blushing all day and even till now when i think of it. I have however decided to reveal more of my artistic side with the coming year as my celebrity palm reader friend express sadness at my having lost my artistic self. Not to worry AY (not the AY comedian), I will find it again.

I also have the plan of quitting my job. I feel boldly writing it down will help me come to terms with the decision made by the inner me. I want a better job and when  i say better i don't just mean monetarily though of course money is a huge part of it (my palm reader mentioned i would be rich), I want something more fulfilling. can i make money off analysing music or just reviewing books/ manuscripts written by authors and aspiring writers? How much can i make? Hmm...

I plan to travel more. There is however an oncoming impediment to this plan. The first is that my darling husband might not be game since our schedules hardly ever jive and i can't have enough fun without him. The second is my job, and the third is still pending, let's hope i get to surpass all this though and have a beautiful fun filled year.

I met wonderful people last year, people whose writings left my mouth wide open. I read their work and wished i didn't jump into a Masters programme in Law, I wished i did a Masters programme in English Literature instead. There was Jennifer Emelife and Hymar David, i enjoyed their Flash on Facebook, there was Okwudilichukwu Obu, i got to know his work as i rounded off the year, there was Nnaemeka Ugwu, oh, Nnaemeka, his poetry transcended me, always, there was Chimezie Ogenna Nwodo, this guy can write ehn, still really quite shy with his writings though and there was Sibbyl White and quite a lot of others.Oh, how can I forget Walter Shakespearen Ude,fabulous writer, and very humble about his talent too. His description skill is off the hook. You know his writing by the unbelievable attention he pays to detail. He was also kind enough to find one of my notes on Facebook worthy of publishing on his website (www.mymindsnaps.com) He titled it, 'An Ode of a Star struck Nigerian'. I felt honored. So yes, my year was great. I read stories that had my brain cells tingling on edge, I heard fabulous music, I shed friends and made new friends, I met and married my darling husband (the absolute peak of the year) and called people's bluff and laughed a whole lot more.

Who says Nigerian children are not reading or evolving? My generation sure is and you can see it when they put pen to paper or do we now say fingers to keyboard? lol.

Can this year be better than last, i sure hope so.