Its a cool sad day when you think about friends, then foe, then friends again and you wonder which is which. Where is the distinction? Where do you draw the line between a friend and a colleague? A family member and a friend? What is the extent or limit of what i tell you and what i keep to myself.
Thus is my predicament as this beautiful week draws to an end. In my very short while working in this beautiful city of Lagos, I have come to understand that not all that glitters is gold, literally. I have made friends i wished i could keep and then i wish i never met them. I have also made friends who even though they have stabbed me in the back repeatedly, something about me still keeps loving them and holding them close and believing that the backstabbing aspect of their life is simply their nature coming into play and not just that they set out to hurt me. I do not want to believe that they would on their own set out to hurt me because then, i would be forced to hurt them back or something close. Maybe i would be forced to give them the biggest cut of their life, lets say totally ignoring them in public when they say hi to me or try to make friendly conversation.
Anyway, Joe told me lately that my friends are different from my colleagues. Joe is a friend, you will get to know him. He advised that i draw a very visible line between both. He was right. The dictionary would define a colleague as a person with whom one works in a profession or business. She could be called a workmate, a teammate, co-worker, associate, partner, colloborator. I must say that it never mentioned my colleague as my friend. Why i have this desperate need to merge both into one and the same is still beyond me.
However, in time, i have learnt that no matter how much you want to call a colleague a friend, she remains that; a colleague; someone who you are in constant corporate competition with, she aims to better than you, to be more favored than you, to earn more than you, to be looked on in better light than you, and believe it, to have a better life than you. A shame if you had though to look upon them as friends but true nonetheless. Maybe in my own little world, this is what i have come upon as a conclusion, mayhaps it is different in other worlds, i couldn't possibly say, given that my experience is only limited to disappointments in the form of colleagues who are rumor mongers, gossip peddlers, back stabbing thingies. It's almost like your misfortune makes their lives a whole lot better and gives their existence more meaning. Sometimes, i don't mind the rumors so much, just when that when they hurt,there is that momentary pause and then you remember, "oh, i forgot, not a friend, just a colleague".
There has been one exception though. Or maybe i'm wrong. I'm still watching, though in utter disbelief still. lol. Maybe this is just that part of me that can't get why both can't be merged into one, still trying hard to lump both together, my colleague that she is and the friend she keeps proving herself to be. Though in fairness to my colleagues, it's hard work to be finally penciled a friend by me.
Has it been different for you? Have your colleagues turned out to be a friend or more than a friend?
Ps: TGIFriiiiiiday!!!A bit below the weather, but still can't wait.
J
